Critic Attacks: Responses¶
Overview¶
The inner critic in CPTSD operates in two modes: perfectionism attacks driven by shame, and endangerment attacks driven by fear. Because these attacks often run below conscious awareness, the first step is learning to name them. Once named, two techniques — Thought-Stopping and Thought-Substitution — allow survivors to interrupt the attack and replace it with a grounded, self-compassionate counter-response. Walker provides specific counter-statements for each attack type.
Quick Reference
- Two attack types: perfectionism (shame-fueled) and endangerment (fear-fueled)
- Step one is always recognition — name the attack before responding
- Thought-Stopping: interrupt the attack consciously (say "stop," redirect attention)
- Thought-Substitution: replace the attack with a prepared counter-statement
- These responses work best when practiced in advance, not improvised mid-flashback
- The goal is not silencing the critic permanently but reducing its authority
Quick Reference Table¶
Perfectionism Attacks (shame-driven)¶
| # | Attack | Core Counter-Response |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Perfectionism | Mistakes are practice for self-compassion |
| 2 | All-or-Nothing Thinking | Reject "always" and "never" |
| 3 | Self-Hate / Toxic Shame | "I am on my side" |
| 4 | Worrying / Looping | "Good enough" is legitimate |
| 5 | Unfair Comparisons | Don't compare your insides to their outsides |
| 6 | Guilt | Feeling guilty is not being guilty |
| 7 | "Shoulding" | Replace "should" with "want to" |
| 8 | Over-Productivity | "I am a human being, not a human doing" |
| 9 | Harsh Self-Judgments | Refuse to continue the bully's work |
Endangerment Attacks (fear-driven)¶
| # | Attack | Core Counter-Response |
|---|---|---|
| 10 | Catastrophizing | "I feel afraid but I am not in danger" |
| 11 | Negative Focus | Deliberately name what is going right |
| 12 | Time Urgency | "I do not need to rush" |
| 13 | Performance Anxiety | Act despite fear; refuse unfair standards |
| 14 | Perseverating About Attack | Most people are not dangerous |
Perfectionism Attacks: Responses¶
These attacks are powered by toxic shame and produce self-hate, self-punishment, and chronic self-criticism.
1. Perfectionism¶
The drive for perfection developed as a survival strategy — a child's attempt to avoid punishment or earn love. In adult life, it continues to demand the impossible.
- Counter: Perfection is not required for safety or love now. Mistakes are opportunities to practice self-compassion in new territory.
2. All-or-Nothing and Black-and-White Thinking¶
Extreme language ("always," "never," "completely") distorts reality and makes ordinary shortcomings feel total and permanent.
- Counter: Reject sweeping generalizations. Most things are more nuanced than absolute judgments allow.
3. Self-Hate, Self-Disgust, and Toxic Shame¶
Shame attacks feel like truth — as though something is fundamentally wrong with who you are, not just what you did.
- Counter: "I am on my side." Normal feelings — anger, sadness, fear — are not shameful. Turn shame back toward those who shamed ordinary human experience.
4. Micromanagement, Worrying, and Looping¶
The mind replays past events or rehearses future disasters, seeking an impossible certainty that will make danger feel controllable.
- Counter: The past cannot be changed and the future cannot be made perfectly safe. "Good enough" is a legitimate standard. The Serenity Prayer applies here: accept what cannot be controlled, act on what can be.
5. Unfair Comparisons¶
Measuring yourself against others at their best — or against your own peak moments — guarantees a losing result.
- Counter: Refuse to compare your insides to their outsides. Peak performance is not a sustainable baseline. Feeling bad in a culture that demands constant happiness is not a personal failure.
6. Guilt¶
Guilt often arrives without a corresponding actual wrong. It can also be fear in disguise, or a trained response from environments where you were blamed for everything.
- Counter: Feeling guilty is not evidence of being guilty. When real harm has been done, apologize once and let it go. "I am afraid, but I am not guilty or in danger."
7. "Shoulding"¶
"Should" imports external expectations as internal law, bypassing what you actually want or need.
- Counter: Replace "should" with "want to" — and only follow the impulse if it genuinely fits, unless a legal or ethical obligation is at stake.
8. Over-Productivity and Workaholism¶
Compulsive busyness is a fawn or flight response — a way of justifying your existence or avoiding the stillness that feels dangerous.
- Counter: "I am a human being, not a human doing." Sustained productivity requires rest. Efficiency naturally fluctuates; this is normal, not failure.
9. Harsh Judgments and Name-Calling¶
Internalizing the voice of early critics means continuing their work on their behalf. The bully has moved inside.
- Counter: Refuse to join the critics of your past. Do not displace their blame onto yourself or current people in your life. Self-respect is not arrogance — it is survival.
Endangerment Attacks: Responses¶
These attacks are powered by fear and produce hypervigilance, anxiety, and chronic threat perception.
10. Catastrophizing and Drasticizing¶
Small problems become previews of total collapse. Minor physical sensations become evidence of serious illness.
- Counter: "I feel afraid, but I am not in danger." The nervous system is responding to old threat patterns, not present reality. Stop constructing mental disaster scenarios.
11. Negative Focus¶
Attention locks onto what could go wrong, what is missing, or what is broken — filtering out positive information as irrelevant.
- Counter: Deliberately enumerate current accomplishments, strengths, and sources of pleasure — music, food, nature, friendships. Redirect attention by naming specifics.
12. Time Urgency¶
The body feels like it must rush, that slowness is dangerous, that any pause will have consequences.
- Counter: "I am not in danger. I do not need to rush." Unless there is a true emergency, practice moving through daily tasks at a relaxed pace.
13. Disabling Performance Anxiety¶
Fear of imperfection produces procrastination — it feels safer to not try than to try and fail under harsh judgment.
- Counter: Refuse to accept unfair perfectionist expectations from anyone, including yourself. Act despite fear; do not let fear make the decision.
14. Perseverating About Being Attacked¶
Past bullies and critics get projected onto present people, producing anticipatory dread of attack that may not be coming.
- Counter: Absent clear signs of real danger, interrupt the projection. Most people are not dangerous. Recall the actual support and love available from friends. Legal recourse exists for real threats.